But What I Don't Understand Is Why?!

I wish I knew why I have such an affinity for crushes on strange famous people. I've decided to compile these people into a list and assign justifications (or rationalizations...your call) as to why: --Jim Carrey. This may have something to do with Eternal Sunshine or it may have something to do with Ace Ventura, I'm not quite sure, all I know is I think he is a beautiful, beautiful man.

--Jack Black: Uh...he's hilarious, and I'm a sucker for funny dudes. I even love him in Shallow Hal. I'm going to say that the reason for this affinity has to do with the fact that laughing makes you happy and happiness activates the horn-doggyness (I'm really scientific and stuff). Nevermind the fact that the one stand-up comic I dated was a douchebag of the highest order.

--Billy Bob Thornton: He dated Angelina Jolie. He has a band. He wore a vial of blood around his neck (crazy points!). And did I mention he dated Angelina freakin' Jolie when she was still in her knife-licking phase?

--Pete Doherty: Yeah...I don't know why either.

--Anthony Bourdain: He smokes. He drinks. He swears. He also travels, cooks, and has some of the most luscious travel/food writing I have ever read. Need I say more?

There's a whole separate genre for famous females that I have girl crushes on, but that's a mule of a different color, worthy of a whole separate entry.

I need my head examined,

Leni-lovin'-the-crazies