what to do with to do lists.

As most of you may have heard at this point, I have been accepted to the University of Southern California's Masters Program for Professional Writing. In this program, I will allotted time to study across disciplines. The program has renowned faculty spanning from Marc Norman (Shakespeare In Love) to Janet Fitch (White Oleander) to John Rappaport (MASH). Perhaps one of the most impressive things to me, as an aspiring screenwriter, Syd Field teaches at the program.

How the hell did that happen?

So, as soon as I fill out my financial aid and send in my letter of intent, I shall be a USC Trojan. Scary as all get out. But ridiculously exciting. I have never been a huge fan of L.A., but as of recent, I have found myself innately drawn to the area. I am curious to be around those who all have similar passions to mine: movies, writing, art, music, all of the above. I want to surround myself, immerse myself, and be overcome with the overwhelming sadistic melancholy of creativity. I love the magic of process, the consistent gelling and ungelling of words and ideas and theory. It all flows through me like blood: my heart pumps inspiration and dreams only.

I have begun to make lists of things I would like to accomplish. Here is the short term list:

• Begin working out again. At the gym. At home. Wherever. Warmer weather = running.
• Start bringing lunch to work. Have healthy options.
• Write everyday.
• Read those books I've been putting off forever.
• Devise documentary travel itinerary.
• Apply for financial aid.
• Organize housing situation.
• Plan road trip.

And then there are the ideals:

• Work overseas summer 2008.
• Research writing internships/conferences/workshops within the U.S. and abroad.
• Look into film jobs in L.A.
• Come up with a submission-worthy manuscript of poetry.
• Work on short fiction novel started in September.
• Finish documentary.
• Audition, audition, audition.

Yeah, sure, these are long-term goals. But on the same token, I really feel as though these are things I must force myself to do. I expect nothing less than my own set goals for the future. These things will make me happy, and although they may be difficult to achieve, I know that it will be worth it. When I do things I set out to do, I feel accomplished, motivated, and full of inner life.

My best friend, Megan, said to me the other day: "I've given up trying to convince you to stay, because you are just not the type of person to settle until you're ready, and who knows where that will be. And no one can convince you otherwise." And it's very true. I love the adaptability of circumstance, chance, and choice. The three c's have guided me steadfast and true through the toughest of situations, through the muck of indecision, and the brutal severity of crisis. What it comes down to is that these three things are what define us all. You can choose which one is the be all end all. I have always been a choice sort of gal. Circumstance and chance are what come afterwards. But it could be just me. Others think otherwise.

*sigh* I think I'm done writing for the moment. Work is calling me back to its mundane fax machine cubicle life.

But that's okay. Sometimes the predictable can be oddly soothing when nothing but adventure paves the path before you.

Out like a trout,

L-dizzle fer rizzle