There is one thing that really pisses the fuck out of me about New Hampshire. ...Okay, so there's more than one thing, but one that I can recall at this moment in time.
The street set-ups. Who thinks it's a good idea to have 3 roundabouts in one town? I don't care if they have a lower accident rate than stoplights, NO ONE else in the world utilizes that function. And moreover, why would you put three in a college town? So all the incoming freshman can get doubly pissed about moving in: 1. they have to spend more time with their parents, and 2. that they are moving in to a town that has three fuckin' roundabouts. yay state schools.
Moreover, who decides to start building roundabouts an iota of a second before move-in day? new hampshire. "fuck you incoming customers! we live free or die bitches, so you can suck my big lovely roundabout dick."
But what really got me going was the "two-way" streets with parking spots on either side, leaving about a space of 10 feet of driving space, which of course every SUV in the fucking world has to quadruple turn it before they make it through. it's bad enough that an entire liberal college town which promotes global warming awareness will have the largest population of lexus-SUV-owning assholes with "support the troops" sticker painted across the back. "i support the troops, i support the people involved in the war i protest against, yes,protest every sunday on the green, right by that adorable little gazebo we're all so fond of having ill-fitting country cover bands play reba mcintire, with their mullets waving in the wind, and the goddamn hippies dance with their bare feet and dreadlocks studying law and environmentalism (which i support of course) while smoking some cloves: 'cigarettes are, like, organic so i'm not a hypocrite by throwing them on the ground. it's like mulch for the soil', but they forget (or what they don't see) are the real environmentalists studying communications scamper around at night like squirrels searching for nuts, picking up every last ash or butt till the grass looks peachy clean. which, we also support: the green movement, that is. which is why we've begun selling american spirits loose-y cigarettes right next to the support the troops stickers (with colored assortment, so you can pick just the right one to compliment your lexus SUV's fat fucking ass as it clumsily manuevers its way down a 10 foot wide one-way street, so the tiny compact car behind you can be held up as much as possible, but still have a wonderful fucking piece of irony on your car's fat fucking ass as you smile and give me the thank-you wave."
*sigh* i guess venting produces the grammar-free Leni.
peace in your crease!
1 comment:
American Spirit is owned by Philip Morris. Ooops. So much for environmentally better, seeing as Philip Morris is one of the highest pollutant corporations in the world. Oh, hai. Isn't that hi-lar-ious?
Like the hippie who was telling me I was contributing to everything that was bad in the world because I smoke Marlboro and he pulls out his pack of American Spirit and I just said, "American Spirit is owned by Philip Morris, you dumb fuck."
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