for weeks my body aches

so it was around a year ago today that my life took an entirely different turn: i graduated college. at the time, it felt like the most painful thing on the planet. the thought of handling things all on my own seemed overwhelmingly impossible. it never occurred to me that real life could actually start at the drop of that graduation cap.

but it did.

and yet, all the things that have happened this year have been for the best. i have had ups and downs that i never knew existed. i've learned to take care of myself: to shop for myself, to live alone, to understand the nature of give and take, to pay bills, to make all new friends, to accept responsibility for my actions.

there are many life lessons that are contained within an important year such as this. ones that i'm not even sure i could describe here. ones i'm not even sure i understand quite yet.

all i know is that i am lucky: i have amazing friends who i will miss beyond repair. it was scary moving up to keene on my own...just as moving out to LA will be. and yet, i know i'm capable of that risk, that chance. i will miss everyone ferociously, but i know who will stay in touch.

because i love them. and they love me back.

for once i found a niche comfortable enough to be...me.